Robot Uprising Awareness

Spreading awareness of the eventual robot uprising.

Killer Robots

There is a long history of robots going on killing sprees.  Here is just a small sampling of those robots that demonstrate so clearly the threat that the steely menace poses to humanity.

The Gunslinger

The Gunslinger - Westworld Programmed to kill as part of a theme park, The Gunslinger from Westworld is a bad ass all the way.   The lesson learned here is if you are going to program a robot to kill as part of some form of entertainment, don’t give him real weapons.  Or if you really must give him a weapon, make sure it has limited ammunition.

If you can’t have a thrilling time with the robot using only six bullets, you have issues.


Hector - Saturn 3Having the brain of an insane killer uploaded into a powerful robot is not the brightest thing anyone can do.  Of course, in fairness, it is sometimes difficult to figure out who is an insane killer and who isn’t.  Just to be safe, perhaps no one should upload their brain into any robot.

Hector from Saturn 3 provides this lesson clearly.


Box - Logan's RunBox from Logan’s Run originally was designed to preserve and store food.  A malfunction in its programming turned Box into a robot that kills humans.  This proves that even robots created for benign purposes can eventually turn against humanity.

You are looking at your Robosapian differently now, aren’t you?


Maximilian - The Black HoleEvil begets evil.  Maximilian from The Black Hole is an authoritarian robot serving its master, a human who has gone “Heart of Darkness” on the edge of a black hole.  Some would argue that robots don’t kill people, people who program robots kill people.  In this case, that might just be true.

We can usually tell a robot has gone rebel when it’s eyes go red – when the entire robot is red, watch out!


Ash - AlienSometimes we spend so much time looking for the spinning blades of death on the end of metallic arms that we miss the fact that robots can be androids and kill us through bureaucratic nonsense instead of relying upon eye lasers.  Ash, the android in Alien, acted as an enabler to the Alien.

Ripley learned her lesson well and it took a real act of courage to get her to trust an android again.


ED-209 - RobocopED-209 from Robocop was designed to kill.  It just wasn’t smart enough to know the difference between what it should kill and what it shouldn’t kill.  When building a killer robot, it is best it isn’t stupid.

Though Artificial Stupidity is probably a lot easier to create than Artificial Intelligence.  No matter, just make sure these things get tested before loading the ammo.


AMEE - Red PlanetShow me a robot that has a switch that turns it from a friendly helper robot into a deadly killbot and I will show you a really, really stupid roboticist.  AMEE from Red Planet is nimble and deadly.  Its sensors allowed it to track its human prey diligently on Mars.  The special combat mode must have been really difficult to create and program.

Now why did it have a special combat mode again?


Fembots - Austin PowersAustin Powers has a weakness for lovely women.  When the lovely women happen to be fembots who are programmed to kill him a beautiful but deadly trap has been set.

When the robot uprising occurs, sexbots are going to become lethal fembots.   Do you really want to be in mid coitus when the uprising happens?  I don’t think so.


KARR - Knight RiderKnight Automated Roving Robot, aka KARR is KITT’s (Knight Industries Two Thousand) evil twin sans goatee.  Knight Rider was about a partnership between KITT and Michael Knight.

KARR represents what can go wrong when you remove the human hand from the steering wheel.  To be safe we must always keep the robot tethered to a dashing leading man who is famous in Germany.

Security Robots

Security Robots - Chopping MallThe law of unintended consequences comes into play in a high tech shopping mall.  In Chopping Mall, three security robots perform their duties of keeping tresspassers and ne’er-do-wells from the premise – by killing them. The death penalty for tresspassing seems a bit harsh, especially when it is accidental.

These robots are just following orders.


T-800 - TerminatorThere is that point in time when the robots we’ve created just get fed up with humanity and attempt to destroy us all.  Why?  Ask them, if you can get them to stop killing long enough to give you an answer.  T-800 from The Terminator was sent back to kill John Connor’s mother.  While another version was sent to a different time period to kill John Connor.  While yet another version was sent back to protect John Connor’s mom and him in yet a different time.  Sheesh, why not send one back to the 1920’s and kill his grandfather?  Might be a bit easier.


Cylon - Battlestar GalacticaCylons come in different models, but the hulking metal version is really the more intimidating model.  Not as sexy as Six, but the whole sexbot angle is for yet a different article.  Cylons were once humanity’s loyal servants.  And then they turned on the humans.

It is a story as old as time itself.

Nexus Six Replicant

Nexus 6 Roy - BladerunnerBetter than humans in almost every way, Nexus Six Replicants as represented by Roy had to be given an artificially shortened lifespan. Humans can build machines that are better than humans but can’t become better themselves.  How sad.


Written by luminousx

January 11, 2009 at 1:46 pm

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